HBBC: Forgive and Forget

Welcome to The Half-Baked Bloggers Consortium‘s (HBBC) second post. Meet the members here.
This week’s topic is Forgive and forget, chosen by Noor Al Zubaidy . Please take the time to view the members’ blogs just as you viewed mine in order to get different perspectives about the same topic.
Forgive and forget
Two words.. two emotions, sometimes they compliment each others, and sometimes one stand in the way of the other. Who to forget and how to
forgive must be two essential topics discussed in this post.
Life is hard, difficult, paved with thorns, good and bad people, haters, vile and jealous people, and sweet innocent, charming ones. One gets his share of good and bad, the angels and the devils of life…
We all fall into traps, do silly things, cheat, lie, fabricate or embellish the truth .. we are a selfish specie yet we are social at the same time. One must preserve his/her soul/body and psyche using any manner they see fit – survival of the fittest- any threat to the psyche and a defensive mechanism is launched at the attacking person.
You are hurt, you did not listen to your friends, followed your heart and that heart got a crack from side to side. What would you do?? Attack the person who caused the hurt? or would you embrace them and kiss that forehead. Forgive this trespass and re-establish a new friendship. Forgiving is very difficult, while writing forgive you can visualize all those who have hurt you in the past.

For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins. (Matthew 6:14-15)

On the authority of Anas, who said: I heard the messenger of Allah say:

Allah the Almighty has said: β€œO son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great as its.” – Hadith

Forgiving is a universal theme but a minority of us forgives, one is not weak when they forgive.. do not hold grudges, life is too short for haters and hating. You must forgive YOURSELF that self you are living in.
Forgetting is even worse than forgiving.. the places, the smells, even colours are attached to that person. You can visualize the person there, hear the sound of their laughter, the glow in their eyes.. you can not forget the pain, the hurt, the feeling of WHY WHY ME, the constant shouting and pounding in your grey and white matters.. why was it all a lie… why did they hurt me.. I was so good to them … You can’t forget .. the pain will be dull the next time you think of them.. but you can’t forget them 100%.
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19 thoughts on “HBBC: Forgive and Forget

  1. Huda says:

    I’ve always thought that my way of forgiving is through forgetting. That’s why I often wonder can we forgive when we cannot forget? Or is it like you said how feelings go numb with time and that’s how forgiveness occurs with some. 3am ramblings brought to you by sohuda πŸ˜›

    • observationofalostsoul says:

      Thanks Huda for your comment. With your way are you achieving a forgiving state of mind? I don’t think one can forget, because the event took place, and all previous encounters with that person/s were amazing, had so much good memories and now what shall you do with them. I still believe time is what will help those broken hearts to heal it’s long and tedious. I appreciate your 3 am rambling … Good night if you’re sleeping

  2. Noor says:

    You can’t forget .. the pain will be dull the next time you think of them.. but you can’t forget them 100%.
    ^^ Very true.

    One can sense a lot of hurt in your words. When you say forgetting is worst, do you mean it’s worst because it’s harder than forgiving or what exactly?

    • observationofalostsoul says:

      Noora

      Hurt is in every person .. we have all been hurt; the friend who stops talking to you. the co-worker who stabs you in the back.. the jealous cousin.. the bad gf.. but one must raise above them.. yet sometimes we fail and get dragged into a dirty fight.

      Forgetting for me is a mental state.. deletion of places, events, smells, colors, deletion of memories , a thing I am not capable of doing. What do you think?

  3. Noor says:

    I agree. I can’t forget either, and I always wondered if this meant I didn’t fully forgive them but then I think that it’s not true. You can forgive without forgetting. I mean you can’t choose to forget, it’s not an act of will, your brain forces you to keep the memory for a reason. Could it be the lesson you’re supposed to walk away from the experience with? Perhaps.

    I wish I could forget sometimes, but I’ve come to accept how my memory clings to everything; the good the bad and the ugly. πŸ˜€

  4. Ruqaiya says:

    Akh ,I can never forget 100%. I usually have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to every thing else, unless if you’ve caused me pain.
    Lovely post! Love the religious element you added. I wanted to do it but thought I’d keep it secular πŸ˜› Jokes apart, it’s wonderful!

    • observationofalostsoul says:

      LOL Thanks Ryqaiya, I added the religious part at the end when re-reading the whole post, just wanted to add a bit of religion to make it universal i guess.

  5. An Arab Dissident says:

    Those two aspects of life are the toughest. Yes, we do not forget nor we fully forgive. We aren’t saints but humans weak and subjected to a lot of torments. We try to improve, build ourselves on better basis, better feelings, change our vision but still, something remains.

  6. Knee says:

    I love the first paragraph awi πŸ™‚ it was so touchy. I also loved how you included the religious part, and focused on forgiveness. It’s about time we forget, but forgiveness to me is always harder.
    Love the realism at the end! I didn’t know you’re good with writing.

    Keep posting!
    KN.

    • observationofalostsoul says:

      Thanks a lot .. da kolo min zo2ik .. Indeed forgiving is so tough sometimes i think we think we are better than the rest and better than the person who did hurt us so we wont forgive we see him/her as unworthy of that forgiveness

  7. Jess says:

    I love it! you’re such a good writer Ammar..the second paragraph is my favorite πŸ™‚

    • observationofalostsoul says:

      “Life is hard, difficult, paved with thorns, good and bad people, haters, vile and jealous people, and sweet innocent, charming ones. One gets his share of good and bad, the angels and the devils of life…” Yes its a really good paragraph i’m glad you like it.

      And thanks a lot for your kind words πŸ˜€

  8. kmarch83 says:

    We, as human beings, learned cheating with words, trying to lie and get away with that. Unfortunately this is the world we live in and everytime is harder to know who to forgive and who to forget. And as you said, how to do it, it’s the biggest Q.

    I hope one day we’ll know.
    Great post πŸ™‚

  9. observationofalostsoul says:

    Thanks my Spanish amiga… some day we shall know maybe invent a pill for forgiving and forgetting

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